#and when i said i don't have the energy
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one time my dad told me and my sister to be nice to our mother bc she "might have depression" and me and my sister literally laughed bc when both me and my sister were actually diagnosed with depression our mom did nothing but invalidate us and call us lazy and say we're making it up
#inner thoughts to keep me sane#like ive been having a super bad depressive episode lately#and I haven't had the energy to clean my apartment#so there's garbage and clothes and bottles on the floor#and my mom saw it when i was video calling her#and she yelled at me to clean it up#and when i said i don't have the energy#she hung up on me#and she refuses to say i have depression#she makes jokes that im just an emotional wreck
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Trainer Bakugou who you're a little terrified of the first day you're paired with him. when asking for a trainer at the gym, you had expected the friendly redhead who always looked so sweet and encouraging and cut as hell. you weren't expecting his grumpy looking blond counterpart, who was all glares and shouts for his clients to keep pushing themselves.
you were hesitant at first, before you quickly realized that it was all a ruse, for the most part. he pushed those who needed that extra encouragement, but was more lenient to people like you who simply wanted a professionals guidance. so, after a few weeks, you liked him for the most part, and his looks damn sure made it easier to cozy up to the big guy.
the only issue you've been having with Bakugou though are the...coregasms, as you've seen them been named on social media, that you keep experiencing. the first time, you weren't sure what it was, why your stomach and pelvis kept tightening up. you couldn't have...climaxed, or anything. you hadn't even been touched!
but, as the weeks go by, and the workouts get more strenuous, they've become harder and harder to subside and ignore, and so had Bakugou's commands to keep going when you suddenly stopped. you can only lie and say its cramps so many times before he realizes that something is up.
you're midway through a good morning, when that familiar feeling starts tightening in the pit of your gut. you clench your eyes shut, shaking your head a little, as if you could ward off the impending feeling. bakugou notices though, frowning at your almost pained expression in the mirror, walking up behind you to stop you as you pull yourself back up. his hands are on your waist, and as you come up, you feel his bulge glide over the curve of your ass, and something in you snaps.
you gasp, buckling over, one hand on your knee as the other reaches back for bakugou's hand to keep you up as your thighs shake. you can feel yourself spasming, clenching and unclenching around nothing, secretly wishing you had something that could fill you up, something that you felt throb against you as bakugou leaned over your form.
"Another coregasm, huh?" he asks you lowly, his lips brushing your ear as you bite your bottom lip to hold back your moan. your eyes buck open though, when his words sink in, head tipping back to look at him in the mirror, only to find his gaze already on you.
"You knew every time?" you ask quietly, panting now that its finally starting to pass over you. but bakugou doesn't let you up from this position, especially since the area you're in seems to be desolate for now.
"It's hard to ignore how pretty you look when you cum, sweetheart." Bakugou seals his words with a firm press to your ass, his cock rubbing the seam, and you can practically feel the heat and veins of it through your thin bottoms. you groan under your breath, getting lost in the feeling of him grinding against you, when he suddenly speaks again.
"You still feel it?" he asks, voice low as he looks at you through his lashes. you nod, biting at your bottom lip as you meet the steady rock of his hips, watching how he smiles before slotting his lips against your ear.
"Want me to help make it go away?" and he does, in the employee locker room after hours. he makes it go away, and rebuild, and go away again and again until you're hoarse and your legs are weaker than they typically are on leg day. bakugou helps the ache go away, but not for that sweet redheaded coworker of his, whose fists have fucked his cock the entire time of watching bakugou rail you over the locker room bench again and again.
#remember when I said in my lion bkg tags that I would write that long fic#sorry but I lied 😔#idk its been so hard to write long fics for me lately!!#I thought it would be better since the brunt of everything in my life has passed#but the creative energy isn't all the way there yet#so I won't rush the process of it!!! when I let it come to me I typically bang out like#3-5 fics in two weeks lol so im waiting for that feeling#but anyway!!! I love trainer character aus they're so seggsy#also I had to throw in eiji sorry what else could I have done#NOT put him in this somehow???? I don't think so#okay bye im gonna write another Drabble ive had in my drafts for a few weeks now LOL#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬#also has anyone ever actually experienced a coregasm before??? I saw it on insta and was amazed LOL#I need to start working on my core more to get one lol if im LUCKY
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you know when you go to the doctor and it's something awkward or embarrassing and people tell you "don't worry, they've seen much worse"? for dentistry, I'm the worse. dentists frequently marvel at how many fillings I've got. caries in every teeth. my saliva could melt rocks probably
#dentist today went WHOA when looking at my chart#nor's rambles#i've got PRESCRIPTION TOOTH PASTE#considering my socio-economical standing a situation like this is not likely. AND YET#an old friend at a sleepover said 'i don't have energy to brush my teeth' and i was like what the fuck#and they said 'i've got really good teeth'. i said GET OUT OF HERE!!1!1
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so many thoughts but i CANNOT stop laughing that all that time we thought louis had some elaborate mind control type reason for staying with armand and it was really just.. HIM TRYING TO MAKE HIS EX JEALOUS SLSKSKKSKSKS
#never fucking change loustat i literally can't believe this is sp fucking funny#too sleepy to voice out my other thoughts but LMFAO mann best fucking ep ever#iwtv spoilers#when he said 'this is your death lestat' and kissed armnad I DIED LAUGHING PLS 💀💀💀💀#also real lestat is an angel ive seen him for lile 5 secs amd im already irrevocably in love with him#also jacob saying daniel is like an annoying little brother of louis haha im fine okay okay okay okay okay#i am going to rewatch the whole ep in the morning and have some coherent thoughts then goodnight#btw lestat cried about claudia he said she looked at him like he was her father she needed saving but he never was 😭😭😭#and louis FORGAVE HIM FOR IT. fucking FINALLY#and then jacob saying i strongly one hundred percent believe that lestat would've saved claudia if he had the energy#btw i can't believe armand was okay with louis dying i literally don't understand him at all all this time i thought he wanted to be alone#with louis but now huh???? i need to dissect his brain like a frog i swear#ALSO jacob saying we'll never know the words said between loustat at the end only me and sam know them they'll stay between us#GOD they're so down bad for eo and their characters i fucking love them sooo much#okay promise bye now
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saw a post questioning shipping Senua and Thórgestr and started to reblog it with a tag novel-- felt weird about doing that since this is lengthy and potentially derailing, so making my own post instead. Spitballing under the cut:
First off, any time someone is like, "the real reason people ship this is because they find the dude attractive," this is SO funny to me as someone who doesn't find men attractive IRL and has fiercely loved Senua since I played the first game, like-- actually I find the dynamic between those two characters to be compelling and interesting precisely because of all the baggage between them re: their backgrounds, the rough (put mildly!) beginning of their relationship, all the things they don't talk about, and them finding a common enemy/common ground to work with. The explicit parallels between them stated in-game scratched an itch in my brain. The minute they pointed out the dark rot on his arm, it was like, "oh! hello there! NOW I'm interested in whatever your whole deal is" for me. Also, idk man, I too would follow Senua around after she knocked me into the dirt and then showed me a way to fight the giants that I very much wanted to fight instead of appease.
The idea that Thórgestr was part of the Orkney Raid that killed and mutilated Dillion is VERY interesting food for thought, even if I don't personally have that headcanon (surely there are more viking raiding groups than just the Bjorg). I think the Furies or the Shadow said something similar about Fargrimr (his kin murdered yours, you shouldn't save him, etc.) so I completely get that line of thought, but I think the game left it ambiguous enough that it's up for interpretation. Would I read fic with that premise? Yeah, I'd check that out. Could Senua forgive Thorgestr if his people were involved? Sounds fun to explore.
If (ha, when?) I write fic, I'd have to think more about it especially wrt timelines, like when did the Bjorg start specifically raiding for slaves for giant food sacrifices vs. killing people for resources and wealth? How far off are we from the old gods "dying" and the volcano erupting? Was it indeed a different group of raiders who made a deal with Zynbel, attacked Senua's home, and made the sacrifice at that time to Hela?
At the very least, I think there's a time jump between the end of Hellblade I and the beginning of Hellblade II since Senua wasn't alone on that slave ship and at least one of the (brief) survivors knew her by name. I wouldn't mind exploring that gap of time, too.
In any case I do agree that it would take a VERY long time for Senua to consciously catch feelings for anyone let alone Thorgestr with all their collective baggage. The idea of them having a relationship beyond friendship in the far off future of an AU where he survives is the only one that can make sense in my brain, personally. It would take time! Time they didn't get in the game! But I think there are a lot of different roads that could take, and some of them might be healthier than others. Shipping them certainly isn't forgetting or excusing what happened to Dillion-- or even mutually exclusive from still shipping Senua and Dillion. Or, frankly, also shipping Senua and Astridr, because I can see that ship too.
One of the nice things about all the details Ninja Theory didn't expand upon and that they left that ending so open is that the sky's the limit. I'm VERY interested in seeing fandom tackle this game as we get farther from the initial release.
#kate plays hellblade#senua x thorgestr#a friend did laugh at me recently and say there's always a weird guy i latch onto and i laughed back and said i'm a boy in my brain#i think i've felt that way forever and it's still true. i DO gravitate toward male characters#especially ones who are a bit starry-eyed over their female counterparts#anyway that's not what this post is about#it's more of me throwing thoughts out into the ether because i don't have the energy or time to write fic yet#but i am Thinking About It#what happens after the story left off? what if we changed ONE THING and gave them more time#i stopped using accent marks midway through this sorry i'm typing on a computer. my phone would catch them but alas.#i can't remember my video games tag#senua#thorgestr#hellblade#senua's saga#i'm really just excited to talk fannish things about this one#the first game was so neat and tied up that i felt no fannish inclinations beyond loving the game#but there's SO MUCH ROOM HERE with this second one#delightful#i'll read all the AUs even the sad ones#when it comes to thorgestr and senua i think thorgestr fell first and pretty hard but he doesn't talk about it until senua starts opening u#i really think those two are made for a glacially slow burn#maybe not if she becomes the tyrant seer. loved and feared.#could be quick and very unhealthy. ALSO compelling to me!#senua's saga spoilers#to be safe#these tags are about as long as the post. i'd better quit while i'm ahead.#hertan writing tag
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Woe, NSFW Arlecchino/Furina/Columbina headcanon be upon ye:
Arlecchino and Columbina are both tops that don't like switching or compromising. their sex life can be perfectly described as "but then they realized, they were both tops"
and that's where Furina comes in. being the archon of bottoming, she basically girl-failed her way into a polyamorous relationship (although it's more of a girl-win in this case)
#idk why I just really needed to get this out of my system#Arlecchino and Columbina both just have such distinct ''mean top'' energy to me#(when I say mean top I don't mean that they don't do aftercare or anything. that's evil top behavior)#(I just mean like I said they don't know how to compromise their way through it)#(thank god Furina is SUCH a bottom...)#anyway this ship lives rent free in my head#Arlebinarina#which is what I have taken to calling them#Arlebina#Focacchino#Binarina#Arlecchino#Columbina#Furina#Focalors#Genshin Impact //
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Thanks for the catch Raxy boy! I have now made sure that the two names I censored were better differentiated!
Since you're looking over my blog anyway and care so much about me talkin' about your buddies, can you finally directly address all the horrible shit Shandale has said?
Like this?
Saying that the entirety of a race should be subjugated and stripped of their rights because of the (MADE UP) actions of some of them? I've talked about this clearly horrible example of Shandale's rhetoric before but you seem to have missed it! So here it is again for you since you're combing through my blog again <3
And here's the entire conversation that the person I'll refer to as White - who you forgot to censor, by the way, you left their name unedited in that second screenshot, fixed that for you in this post but you might wanna go do something about that in yours - had with deathbirby (as much as it can be gleaned from the deleted messages):
See how White is seemingly having a conversation with themselves, especially in the bottom portion of the last screenshot? That'd be because they were talking very cordially with deathbirby about birds - not even talking about 3H!
But then White asks deathbirby why they were in the discord... and they have a cordial - if very strange and telling - response to whatever was said:
How weird! Even though deathbirby has done nothing in the server to warrant any action from mods, White seems pretty convinced that deathbirby is going to be kicked... just because they "are part of [the] group [the discord's] sorta 'beefing' with" and no other reason! Not for any argument they were trying to start up, since again - literally only White was talking to them! And they were literally only talking about birds! At best Shandale dropped two bird pictures! No shit was started at all! But the discord seems to have that bad of a tribalism problem that literally anyone who associates with The Wrong People are automatically deemed undesirables by the people in charge, and White already expects deathbirby to get banned because of it - totally not worrying at all!
Then out of nowhere, here comes another mod and Shandale!
Accusing deathbirby of "bringing tumblr bs" but, hm... they were just talking about birds to White; seems like they just wanted talk to me! At best they wanted to have a discussion about something, and it probably DID relate to something about 3H, but given White's responses deathbirby was far from "starting shit" about anything - wonder where Wonder got that idea from?
Hey, when does it say that post was made? October 29th? What "tumblr bs" was going on at that time that deathbirby had on their blog-
Oh. Ohhhh. The "tumblr bs" was my first post pointing out Shandale's proclivity to use genocide apologetics and upholding genociders as liberators for 3H - and the first reblog I did for that post going further into Shandale's posts, if we wanna go for the exact day. So deathbirby not taking keen to Shandale's racist rhetoric gets dubbed "tumblr bs," and then, oops!
They're "stirring shit up" now, they're "acting like an innocent party" now, they're using "bad faith arguments" and "outright slander" now. Looking at messages said by Shandale and still held by Shandale which Shandale stubbornly defended and Shandale openly deleted messages over is bad faith, and deathbirby gets banned for it. With White still wanting deathbirby to talk despite all that! Despite Wonder and Shandale accusing deathbirby of starting shit! Almost like... White didn't think deathbirby was trying to start shit! Probably because nothing shows deathbirby was trying to start shit!
Almost like you, Raxy, only insist that because you think anyone you dislike - or is around people you dislike - couldn't possibly want to have a cordial conversation with you and your buds! Almost like that's because you and a lot of your buddies would never have a cordial conversation with anyone who disagrees with you! Funny how that all seems to click together!
Oh, and just cuz I'm nice like that: when you say that someone "tried to start shit," that's commonly understood to mean that that person was trying to start an argument of some kind - whether a "debate" argument or a, oh, would you look at that, "trying to start shit" argument! Hope that helps <3
#edelgard discourse#just to be safe#like my guy i don't understand how you think you can get away with lying so openly and brazenly when LITERALLY EVERYTHING is public??#like people can just look at what was said and piece shit together to see you're lying??#also yeah hey since you love looking for literally any semi-wrong-adjacent thing us EdElCriTs have done can you like.#put LITERALLY any amount of that energy into calling out Shandale's racist shit? like. literally just once at this point.#the bar is below the ground and you somehow still trip on it
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An Epitaph
Henry didn't know where he was. It was cold, freezing, but that was all he could tell, from the sharp chill that tore through his damp clothes, to the frigid air that felt like icicles in his lungs when he breathed. Even if he was someplace familiar, it would have been impossible to tell through the veil of rime in the air, the thick hoar that coated the ground. But wherever he was, he had to find shelter. soon, before his limbs grew any number that they already were and he lost the three fingers he had left on his right hand to frostbite. It took a good deal of walking, trudging through the snow, before he found something resembling sanctuary. A rocky hovel dug deep into a mountainside he hadn't even noticed was there. The crooked mountaintop loomed far overhead like a wind-swept pine tree, towering over the barren expanse and shielding the small patch of land near the cave's entrance from the worst of the snowfall. It was a narrow fit, the opening more narrow than a coffin, but it opened up into a wide chamber beyond, dark, lit only by the little light reflecting on the snow outside.
Panic stabbed at him suddenly. That chamber felt familiar, though he couldn't recall from where. The rockface of the walls was smooth, man-made, and the stalactites hanging from the domed ceiling above were unnatural, all the same length, jagged and sharpened to fine points. But he had no time to waste on the unnerving interior. The weather outside was getting worse, the wind howling like wolves on a hunt, and soon his shelter would be just as cold and dangerous as the outside. He had to think, find a way to keep the warmth in. Henry returned to the entrance. He twisted around in the narrow space as best he could and began piling up snow with his numb hands, stacking it, pressing it into shape, mouthing breathless curses to himself, until he had built a solid wall halfway up to his neck. It should last. He didn't know for how long, but at least for now, until he could catch his breath. It had to last.
Henry slumped against the wall of the cave. The barrier he had built offered some protection, but he could still feel the cold creeping in, seeping through the gaps and cracks in the snow. A damp chill gnawed at his bones, freezing the air in his lungs. He knew he had to keep moving, to do something, anything, to stay warm and awake. He couldn’t afford to fall asleep. Not here. Not now. But his limbs were leaden and his body creaked in protest with every movement. His teeth chattered as he tried to think, tried to remember where he was and how he had gotten there. The harder he tried, however, the more his thoughts seemed to slip away, like sand through his fingers. Panic clawed at his chest once more as he looked around the cavern. The walls seemed to close in, the smooth stone shimmering with a thin layer of rime frost. The ceiling above with the unnaturally sharp stalactites, loomed over him like a mouth full of fangs. He had to get out.
Henry pushed himself off the wall, his legs shaking beneath him. The snow was piling up faster now, further in through the entrance than the wall he had built, and he frantically began to shovel it away with his hands, trying to clear a path through the narrow gap. He shovelled harder, floundered, grappled til his fingers were too numb to move, but for every tiny hopeful opening he made, more snow took its place, as if the storm outside was determined to bury him alive. The cold was unbearable now, seeping into his very soul. Outside, the wind roared, a feral sound that echoed through the cavern and made the air thick with cold. Each breath now was a knife to the chest, each inhale burning his lungs. The snow crawled closer, blocking the entrance fully, and began to cover the cave floor inch by painful inch, forcing the hunter back step by painful step.
Henry's mind was reeling. He stumbled further into the cave, away from the encroaching cold, the bones of his legs creaking in protest. The deeper he went, the more the walls seemed to close in on him, the smooth rock pressing down, suffocating. The quiet there was unnerving, an oppressive stillness that made him painfully aware of his own laboured breathing and the pounding of his heart. The silence of the grave. For what felt like an hour, he pushed himself forward against the stone walls, cowering under the stalactites which were now low enough to graze the top of his head. No matter how far he went, the snow followed close behind, blocking the way back. Henry's movements grew slower, more sluggish, until he could no longer outrun it, and that white frost began piling up around his boots. He felt the fight leave him, his breathing weakened, his heartbeat slowed.
Then, from the corner of his eye, he saw it—a single snowflake, delicate and perfect, drifting down from the ceiling above. His breath caught in his throat as he watched it fall, impossibly slow, through solid rock. It glowed faintly in the dim light and Henry’s eyes followed its descent, almost hypnotized, until it landed softly on the ground. On something dark, something that wasn’t stone. He crouched down, his stiff knees cracking in protest, and wiped away the snow, his fingers brushing against a cold, unyielding surface.
A hand.
His hand.
His breath caught in his throat. He was looking at himself, at his own lifeless body, crumpled and broken, half-buried in the snow. The wounds were horrific—deep gashes and punctures that were draining the life out of him-- and the realization hit him like a sledgehammer.
This wasn't real.
The snow, the cold, it was all in his head, growing blurry as his brain ran out of oxygen. And the cavern wasn’t just familiar—it was the place he was dying, right now, in the real world. The place where his body was lying, bleeding out into the cold ground, his blood darkening the stone ground.
For a third time, panic surged through him, but it was laced with a deep, bone-weary exhaustion. The wind howled louder, and now Henry could make out voices, battle cries, screeching and yowling in twisted satisfaction. The snow now poured into the cave through the solid ceiling above, burying everything in its path. He wanted to claw his way out, to escape this nightmare, but his limbs wouldn’t respond. The snow was too thick, too heavy, pressing down on him from all sides. As his vision began to blur, the walls of the cave pulsed, breathing with a life of their own, in tandem with his own slowed breaths. The snow continued to fall, endlessly, burying him, until all he could see was white. And then, from the heart of the storm, he saw a figure—a tall, imposing silhouette that moved with unnatural grace, cutting through the blizzard as if it were nothing. Henry tried to focus, but his mind was slipping, the edges of his consciousness fraying like old cloth.
His final thoughts drifted to Bran. A deep guilt welled up inside him. He wouldn’t make it home for Christmas this year. He wouldn’t see his boy’s face light up when he opened his presents, wouldn’t hear his laughter echoing through the house. Regret gnawed at him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. In his last moments, as the darkness closed in, Henry barely registered the sharp pain in his chest—a bite, cold and searing, as if winter itself had latched onto his heart, and his eyes froze over with unshed tears until the world faded and he breathed his last.
In a long-forgotten catacomb in Wales, as the last drop of Henry's blood soaked into the humid ground, something ancient stirred. Beneath the layers of earth and stone, within the crypt that had long been forgotten, a pair of eyes snapped open. After centuries of entombment, something awoke. The blood of the dying hunter seeped into its consciousness, filling it with the remnants of Henry's life, his memories, his regrets. And once the blood had ran dry, the ancient knight rose from his tomb, his eyes burning with a cold, unholy fire.
He tore through the killers, the blood-thirsty beasts who had chased their prey to the ancient tomb, splattering the walls with their undead blood that burnt to ash, until none were left. Then, he looked down at the broken body of the hunter who had unwittingly become his saviour. With a grim sense of purpose, the knight knelt beside Henry’s lifeless form. He whispered words in a dialect long dead, a prayer, perhaps, or a vow. Then, with a reverence reserved for fallen comrades, the knight lifted the hunter’s body and carried him deeper into the crypt, where heroes were once laid to rest, where the knight's own tomb stood, broken apart from within. The hunter was gone, his spirit entwined with the ancient knight’s own, but his legacy would live on, honoured by one of the very creatures he had once sought to destroy.
The knight sealed the tomb with a final, solemn gesture, then left the catacombs behind and stepped out into the warm summer night, into a world which had long outlived him.
#{ooc}#{warning: long read}#{drabble}#{Hey all-- it's been a blast but with life getting busier and busier I don't know how much RPing I've got left in me; at least for now.#So I wanted to give Henry a proper ending; a 'to be continued' if inspiration hits-- but also an epilogue in case it doesn't.#As RPing goes I may very well suddenly get struck with inspo in a couple days and veto this whole thing;#but it's also the first thing I've written in a long while and I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :)#The creature in the end is another character I've been brainstorming for a while but didn't have the time/energy to write;#I may play around with them a bit either on here or discord but I reckon we all know by now how life can get in the way :/#That said#It's been incredible roleplaying with all of you over the years;#in a way it's thanks to you lot that I kept writing even when I thought I had no stories left in me.#You are -all of you- an inspiration and I hope I'll get to write with you all properly again once life permits :)#For now; I wish you a good timezone and a wonderful rest of your day. Take care and stay safe!#-Crow}
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#stellar blade#stellar blade raven#i wasn't kidding when i said she was my fav#was gonna do more gifs but i don't have the energy#so random screenshots it is#because she needs more appreciation#my stuff*
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I can't wait to have something to cheer me up and make some “decent” art (I mean, without being in the “chibi” style)..
Like- I need to post lore of my characters, I need to post more about them... I need encouragement.... I need something that cheers me up enough so I don't get lazy and make these damn drawings to explain the lore(even if you don't care, I still want to talk more about my characters)..😭
Like- they are simple drawings and I still can't put them into practice.. I don't know what's wrong with me that I can't put into practice...
I feel sad, REALLY sad about this. And tired too..
#random vent#I know I said I wouldn't talk much about my feelings but I feel like I needed to talk about it..#It's extremely stressful when you really want to do something but at the same time you don't have the energy to put it into practice...#ocs stuff#ocs lore#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#not an art post#vent post
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Y'ALL today I went in for an oil change at my dad's place, and I was so braindead tired that I couldn't remember the model of my car for a solid couple minutes, and instead of taking advantage of me a helpless Woman I'm fairly certain the guy tricked me into getting my oil changed for free. There is mercy and unconditional love in this world.
#how he tricked me is i had a coupon for 4 free changes where my dad had used 1 and it was crossed out in black#and when i first went in i gave it to him to show him#as i was rambling uselessly about how i don't know if it needs full synthetic oil (coupon said it doesn't work for synthetic)#he gave it back to me and said it would be fine and i meandered away#and when i came back to pick the car up i tried to give him the coupon and he said he took it already#and the first free one was crossed out now in blue#he would not listen to me telling him it was already done#either he was also very braindead and didn't look right? or he decided to be Kind#my braindead was because i couldn't sleep last night (Full of Pie and Energy#and i've been trying to quit my bedtime tea but that night it really was necessary)#and then i took my sister to get the eras tour book and then we went to see Wicked at 9am! cause all other times were full#two activities i would not have done with just me on my own but they were both very fun and fulfilling#wicked was really very entertaining#and i only got creeped out by ariana's terrifying skinniness at one moment#she did amazing. great acting phenomenal singing
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Sebastian: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE! Sebastian: DAZAI-SAN IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW! Sebastian: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp incorrect quotes#ikevamp sebastian#ikevamp dazai#i had a moment of divine intervention#and now i can't unsee it#i cant get over the fact that sebastian really said his life dream was to be a feral housewife in a mansion full of historical figures#I WANT THOSE PILLOWS LOOKING LIKE MICROWAVABLE POPCORN BAGS THREE MINUTES DEEP#literally i can take no comedic credit for this gayle is just iconic and sebastian is channeling their energy at any given moment#i dont care if we have to throw e v e r y t h i n g out. i want this place looking like a new mediterranean fusion restaurant by noon. AAAA#ISAAC PUT SEA SHELLS ON THE DOOR KNOBS#THIS IS A DISH TOWEL. WE NEED A HAND TOWEL. WHAT ARE WE BARBARIANS!!?!?!#WE LIVE OUTSIDE. WE EAT MUD AND STICKS.#i love how the poor puppy in the background is just watching them like ?????? King in the living room like 'bruh' while sebas has a meltdow#*looking at vlad's flowers that were sent as a gift* MC CAN WE GET THE LESBIAN PLANT OUT OF HERE#i dont care how many years pass its always funny#i feel like the comparison is really made by gayle's intermittent screeching throughout too#honorable mention: this is also theo when anything happens to vincent#I DON'T CARE IF ARTHUR'S BLEEDING OUT VINCENT'S PAPER CUT COULD GET INFECTED#SOUNDS LIKE A HIM PROBLEM NOW GET THE FIRST AID KIT HONDJE#WHAT? GAUZE? WHAT IS THIS 1632? YOU COULDN'T FIND A BAND-AID? STOP CRYING IM NOT DONE--#source: “company is coming” / Chris Fleming
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can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?
#I think there is something to be said here for being so averse to conflict and also such a control freak that I spend incalculable energy on#making other people happy/comfortable/cool-with-me so on and so forth#like this has been a problem in past friendships too as I've grown up#and I've noticed it even online like sometimes I'll have A Take and I won't post it because I don't want to be negative about something#that someone else may like or whatever#which is GOOFY because some of my favorite people are those with strong personalities (bc it's a CLEAR VIEW of that person's personality!!)#and yet here I am like "tee hee I'm so nice everyone likes me because I'm nice anyway when I look in a mirror all i see is a blank wall''#lol y'know? and like no I certainly express opinions and express emotions other than Just Being Happy#and also any waylaid attempts at being so neutral as to not offend people uhhhhh don't work. ask me how I know#(I know because people have hated my guts on the internet before lol)#so it's like: this performance is truly for no one but yourself AND!!!! *AND* it's not even good for you because you might not actually be#being your authentic self#anyways I'm afraid to be a hater and also I'm afraid people won't like me so I try hard to make them like me#and THAT leads to me getting a very nice card about how everyone likes me and me inevitably going: but do they know and like the REAL me#lololololololol that's so goofy#anyway kids be yourselves#also what can I say I derive great pleasure from trying to be the nicest person a cashier interacts with on a given day so#idk there's a middle ground to be struck therein and I'm still navigating it
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i think i'm finally gonna read house of leaves wish me luck
#i've been meaning to read this book for like 5+ years lol#i think i'm finally ready to commit to it and also i just bit the bullet and bought a copy#because i know myself enough to know that i will not finish it if i get it from the library#and also they didn’t have the gravity falls book at the bookstore hahaha they said they’ve sold out of it twice#so. oh well. house of leaves time first#also i think i'm gonna finish fma brotherhood without my friend who wanted to watch it in the first place#out of spite because he's still being a little bitch#hope he doesn't change his mind! or feel butt hurt when i don't want to watch shit with him anymore#i think after all this i'm not gonna watch any longer series with him anymore#movies only. low commitment only. so he can't bail on me just on a whim#i'm enjoying fma a lot though!! these boys are the exact type of characters i get attached to lol#i like the alchemy shit also and the humor/drama balance#and the character design and the world building and the Lore#i was kind of on a movie kick again earlier this month but i just don’t have a lot of time for it rn#or the attention span. to be so honest#kind of embarrassing but i’m so mentally exhausted and i’ve been splitting my attention between a lot of different things lately#i was on such a reading kick this summer too!! hopefully house of leaves will replenish my energy for reading#i also got a sci-fi novel a nonfiction book and a folklore collection so i have plenty of new material rn#and i found another book that i want to reread soon#winter is gonna be a big reading time i am committing to that!!#anyway. that’s that
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i officially resigned today :')
#i still have to work there bc i've got a one-month notice period. but i did it!!!#the conversation with my boss went well! she was really nice and supportive#she said she was worried about me bc she could tell i was struggling. and that she understands my decision#and in case i won't find a new job this month they can extend my contract#i cried a lot 😭#and now i'm terrified and sad bc i really love some of my coworkers and i don't want to leave them#but at the same time i'm SO relieved. i feel like i will be able to sleep well tonight. for the first time in weeks#k.txt#also sorry guys i've been mia. and sorry for not answerings your messages#but between working full time searching for a new job doing final assignments for uni and crying. i honestly don't have any energy left#i only logged in to tell you the big news :') and now i'm back to my assignment :( see ya in a week when my exam hell is over
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Pedrosa and his manager Alberto Puig have firm grip on the Repsol Honda garage. Pedrosa has been drafted in by Honda to win back the MotoGP title, and Puig has taken advantage to ensure that he controls events inside the team. Pedrosa and Puig are rumored to be demanding a wall separating the two sides of the Repsol Honda pits, and will have a very strong say in who will replace Nicky Hayden in 2009. Unfortunately, Pedrosa doesn't really want anyone as a team mate, so any such quest will be very difficult. The news from Misano that Pedrosa will be running on Bridgestones from the Indianapolis race onwards will potentially make things even more complicated. The question is whether both Repsol Hondas will be on Bridgestones, or just Dani Pedrosa, with the garage split in the same way as the Fiat Yamaha garage. (x)
After Nicky Hayden's less than surprising switch to Ducati, the 2nd worst kept secret in MotoGP was announced at Motegi today. HRC formally announced that Andrea Dovizioso will be heading to Repsol Honda as Hayden's replacement. The Italian rookie has made a big impression since arriving in MotoGP, and his long-standing relationship with Honda, including struggling to compete with the much faster Aprilia's in the 250 class, made him a racing certainty for the Repsol Honda seat. The devil of such a deal is, as always, in the details. Dovizioso signed a one-year deal with Repsol, in itself a rarity, as the factory team has preferred to work on a two-year cycle with riders. But Dovizioso's biggest challenge will be sharing the pits with Dani Pedrosa. With the full weight of the team's Spanish sponsor behind him, as well as a competent political operator at his side, Pedrosa has had most of the attention from HRC over the past two years, even going so far as to engineer a switch to Bridgestone tires in mid-season, breaking up a long-standing relationship which HRC has had with Michelin. But according to GPOne.com, Dovizioso has secured some powerful guarantees from Honda. Firstly, according to Masumi Hamane, President of HRC, both Dovizioso and Pedrosa will be afforded equal treatment, with a decision made during the season as to who will get preferential access to new material based on who is ahead in the championship at that time. Furthermore, regardless of whether a single tire rule will be introduced or not, Hamane said that "regardless of what happens (with respect to a single tire rule - Ed.), we hope to be able to give both riders the same tires. Even more intriguingly, Hamane ruled out that the two sides of the garage would be divided by a wall, as is the case in the Fiat Yamaha pit box, and as was introduced into the Repsol Honda garage after Pedrosa switched to Bridgestones. The one inkling that all is not well at Repsol Honda is the length of Dovizioso's contract. Signed for just one year, his contract will run out at the same time as Dani Pedrosa's, opening the way for a complete shake-up of the team. There are already strong rumors that Dani Pedrosa has been given notice that he will be fired if he does not win the 2009 world championship, and unless Honda can sign another Spanish rider with championship potential, it is not unthinkable that the Iberian oil giant may reconsider its sponsorship of the factory team. Repsol is increasingly desperate for a Spanish world champion, and if Pedrosa fails them, they may feel they are not getting the necessary return on their investment. (x)
The Italian was confirmed at the team last weekend, and he will replace Nicky Hayden in 2009. Hayden will leave for Ducati after two tense seasons as Pedrosa' teammate. The American suggested at times that Pedrosa got more support than him during his tenure at Honda. Dovizioso says he is concerned about the power Pedrosa has in the team, but claims he will not have a problem if his relationship with the Spaniard is not good. "We've made a good contract," Dovizioso told Motosprint. "At a certain point in the season, the HRC rider best-placed in the championship or fighting for the title will be the first one at receiving the best material and developments. This is an important clause. "There's no point denying that the power held by Pedrosa and (manager, Alberto) Puig worries me. I'd prefer to have a good relationship with Pedrosa, but if he doesn't want that then it certainly won't be a big problem for me." Dovizioso, who made his MotoGP debut this season, has signed a one-year deal with HRC, and the Italian says it was what both parties wanted. "We wanted it that way, and they accepted that immediately. We need to evaluate each other: both of us want to put ourselves to the test." (x)
The relationship between the pair has been strained since Pedrosa collided with Hayden at Estoril in 2006 in an incident that looked set to destroy the American's title hopes until Valentino Rossi's crash in the Valencia finale allowed Hayden to claim the crown after all. When a wall was erected down the centre of the Honda garage at Indianapolis following Pedrosa's controversial mid-season switch to Bridgestone tyres, Hayden hinted that it would make little difference because there had been no exchange between the two riders' crews anyway. But in an outspoken interview with the official MotoGP website, Puig has accused Hayden of relying on Pedrosa's set-ups and of harbouring jealousy towards the Spaniard. "All I can say is that Hayden may be bothered because now he can't access information and telemetry data from Dani's bike," Puig told motogp.com. "With this information he was able to improve his riding, as he had all of Dani's references and now he can't use that any longer. He was simply copying as he never knew how to set-up a bike. "A professional rider can't be complaining because he can't get access to the other rider's data, because finding what works best is his job, not the other rider's. "Everybody knows that a racing team doesn't work like a football team. It involves two riders, but each is working for himself and the factory will support the rider who has the best chance. Because when it comes to winning, only one rider wins. It has always been like this and it always will be like this - anybody who says the opposite is just lying to look good." Puig claimed that Hayden had never been an equal rival to Pedrosa. "Honestly, and without trying to offend anyone, there was never a rivalry in the garage," he said. "Nicky won the title when Dani was in his first MotoGP season, and since then there was no rivalry because he (Hayden) didn't get the results. On his own, Dani gained experience in this class and Nicky was always behind him, so Nicky has never been a serious rival." Hayden will leave the Honda team for Ducati at the end of the season, with Andrea Dovizioso taking the place. The Italian has already intimated that he expects a difficult relationship with Pedrosa and Puig, who said Pedrosa will regard Dovizioso as just another rival. "He has shown loyalty to the factory, and now he gets a perfect move for him," said Puig of Dovizioso. "As for how it will affect us? It really won't change much and won't affect our way of working. He will be another rival on the track." (x)
Andrea Dovizioso. Meet Dani Pedrosa. Ok, now you two kids play nice. Speaking at the EICMA motorcycle exhibition in Milan last week, Dovizioso played down any initial tension between himself and Pedrosa: “Dani is a former 125cc and 250cc World Champion and a great rider, but first of all he is a good guy, probably even shyer than I am. Maybe this is the reason why we don´t have a great feeling yet, but we will have a lot of time to know each other,´ said the rider about to enter his sophomore year in the premier class. `I think right now he is not reaching his level on the road, maybe also because of his manager.” Why the manager? Well that might be because Dovi has been described by Alberto Puig (Pedrosa’s manager)as “just another rival”, but Dovizioso is keen to emphasise that there is no bad feeling in the Honda camp. Right… Still, Dovizioso’s goals for the 2009 season includes beating the pants off his teammate, especially with only a year to prove himself as a factory rider. “To finish ahead of Dani would be important, and I am confident about my chances, but I will be mainly focused on stepping on the podium any time I can, being consistent with my new Honda HRC throughout the season.” (x)
MILAN, March 8, 2009 - His face is the same, serene, often smiling. His voice is calm, his words are sometimes sharp. Andrea Dovizioso has not changed even though at 22 he has realized his dream of becoming an official Honda Hrc rider in MotoGP. And he takes stock after the Qatar tests, one month before the start of the world championship. Q: Andrea, the Honda from Losail didn't seem to be in great shape. AD: "We have some small problems, it's true. Especially stability at the rear when braking, but also engine delivery. And we need to work on the clutch. We're slow when entering corners and in Qatar, with the cold and humidity, the bike was sliding a lot when braking." Q: How has it changed the way you work as a factory rider? AD: "You waste energy. With the satellite bike you can change little and you concentrate on riding. Now in every curve you have to think about how to improve things. It's not easy, but if you want to try to win you have to develop". Q: Injuries aside, Pedrosa is an uncomfortable teammate: what is he like inside the box? AD: "I don't know exactly what he does." Q: Is there any exchange of information? AD: "No, nothing. But if we need it, we have access to all the data." Q: What technical situation did he find? AD: "It's too early to say, but I was expecting a more competitive package: I don't know how much depends on Pedrosa and how much on Honda. From what I understand, I think he doesn't want many changes". [...] Q: Can you take away some of Pedrosa's manager Alberto Puig's power within the team? AD: "We all know how Puig tries to have as much power as possible. I think that with the arrival in June of the new HRC president, Suzuki, things will go better." (x)
Having signed an extension to his current deal with Honda, Spanish rider Dani Pedrosa continues to be regarded as the Spanish team's favorite rider for the 2010 MotoGP title. However, the Japanese manufacturer made it very clear that there would be no favoritism within the Repsol Honda team next year, as both Pedrosa and Andrea Dovizioso will be given equal chances to fight for the title. The situation in the past hasn't been quite the same however, as Pedrosa was constantly advantaged in terms of bike development ahead of former teammate Nicky Hayden between 2006 and 2008. As his height was considerable shorter than Hayden's, it caused the North American rider to score inconsistent results throughout the 2007 and 2008 seasons. The Honda officials insisted that won't be the case next year, as both riders have the power to sustain a title fight next season. “Dovizioso and Pedrosa will have the same position inside the team. We work together with the two riders, both of them, because that's in everyone's interest. It's not true that we have worked just for Pedrosa up to now. We have two riders and we use the work and the information from both of them. Andrea, too, is very useful for development work, and he will be more and more so,” said HRC vice-president Shuhei Nakamoto in an interview with Motosprint. To emphasize this change in strategy, Nakamoto also confirmed that Dani Pedrosa's long-time manager Alberto Puig will no longer be in charge of the technical developments of the Honda bikes, but be handed a more organizational role within the Spanish team. Both Pedrosa and Dovizioso have signed one-year extensions to their current contracts with HRC, but the Italian's contract has a clause that can keep him at Honda until the end of 2011. HRC's change in strategy seems to be related to Pedrosa's public attack at his team in recent weeks. Although he signed the extension after the San Marino GP two weekends ago, he admitted he would have liked to race for Yamaha next year. (x)
#people keep sending me asks about puig and honestly i don't have the time/energy right now to be writing posts about alberto puig#but failing that. here's a vibe check from the late noughties#never 4get dani's team would've gotten him that wall if they could've gotten away with it. people in the late noughties LOVED walls#jorge and valentino had a wall. melandri and casey kinda had a wall. hayden and dani briefly had a wall. toseland and edwards had a wall#walls were HERITAGE. everyone loved a good wall. i mean casey didn't but#//#brr brr#comp tag#anyway go watch the valencia 2011 fight between dani and dovi that capped off their teammate era rather nicely#puig was kinda bitchy about dovi as late as 2020 when dovi said he was surprised by marc's decision to not leave honda#alien tag
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